“Used to Believe” by JKutchma | Music Exam

"I shouldn’t be believing in Lou Reed or Iggy Pop. I shouldn’t believe in these things. I should use the art they’re creating to believe in the person that I am."

This is the Jason Kutchma that sings on "Used to Believe," the Jason Kutchma (Durham, N.C.) who doesn't wince his way through a tattoo, which he received during a Love Drunk video from April 2011. A performer and lyricist whose conviction is what connects.

Now as Kutchma returns to Nebraska next week, we examine the song "Used to Believe" in depth. The full band, JKutchma & the Five Fifths, plays Lincoln and Omaha next week, at Duffy's on Tuesday starting at 9 p.m. and at O'Leaver's on Wednesday starting at 9:30 p.m. Find more info for both events here for Duffy's and here for O'Leaver's.

Read on for more about what Kutchma believes in now, why he had a spur branded upon his shoulder and whether pain causes one to forget lyrics. Then learn how to play "Used to Believe" further below.

Hear Nebraska: Is “Used to Believe” autobiographical?

Jason Kutchma: I think that it is, at least for a part of me, it’s autobiographical. There’s a point that I thought where — maybe in everybody’s life there is — where there are these people that are on stage and they present this thing to you, this character. You don’t recognize it at the time, you don’t think that this is a character they’re playing. You think, "Oh, this is the real guy."

That’s maybe not a fair thing to do to somebody who gets on stage. It’s maybe akin to if you went to a party and someone gets really drunk. They do something crazy on the rooftop of their house. You see this person for a brief moment in their life, and they may repeat that same activity weekend after weekend.

But that’s not really the person until they allow it to become a part of them. I had the realization that oh, this is a character. I shouldn’t be believing in Lou Reed or Iggy Pop. I shouldn’t believe in these things. I should use the art they’re creating to believe in the person that I am. So I think that’s probably the best way I can answer everything that you just asked (laughs).

HN: For sure. Let me followup then: What else do you believe in now?

JK: I think that rock ‘n’ roll is such a sexy thing. I believe in rock ‘n’ roll. I only started to believe in what I do — and what I do is rock ‘n’ roll — I only started to believe in what I do when I looked at it like a job by somebody that mows the lawn with a lot of integrity or takes a great deal of pride. Every blade of grass is cut nice and trim. He does this for himself and other people. He gives people breaks on how much he charges because he likes doing it so much.

So I believe that that thing is out there for everybody, that thing that you are probably not good at it at first, but aspire to be good at it. That’s out there for everybody, but you give up hope on it. I don’t believe that there’s something out there, so I’m just going to do this job that pays me X amount per hour. For some people, that job that pays them X amount per hour is the thing that they believe.

That’s maybe about it. I don’t know what else, at least right now. If you’re writing a song called “Used to Believe,” seems that the conclusion to that song is that I do got something to believe in.

HN: Yes. Tell me about when and where you wrote the song.

JK: I was in a bar at The Fed — The Federal — in Durham, North Carolina. It’s a great place because it’s a bar, but — and this isn’t unusual — but they have a room in the back where you can sit and it feels more like a coffee shop, rather than just being in a bar. It has comfortable seating in the back. They have booths, and they have a regular bar to order drinks from. So you can go in there and get coffee, then you could get beer for dinner, and even later you can get all the whiskey or tequila you want.

That appeals to me because I like going to the same place to do my work, just like anybody. You like to work in your office or your car or your job site. My job site just happens to be this place. I can go there anytime from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m., and be able to work. So that’s where I happened to be at the time when I wrote the song.

HN: So do the bartenders and regulars know that you’re working while you’re there? Have you developed a relationship with them?

JK: Yeah, totally. They always know that I’m coming in. I think I didn’t know this before — this has just started to develop with me — but depending on what stage an album is, I have a certain drink. As I’m writing it, it’s constantly coffee. As I’m working on it, it’s tequila. As I’m finishing it, it’s red wine (laughs). Whether they’ve been able to pick up on it, I’m not sure.

HN: Why did you decide to play the song for the Love Drunk video?

JK: Ah, hmm. I hadn’t recorded the album yet. That was the song that was defiining my life the most at that point. It was a little funny. It was reflective of my personality. Whether it still is, I’m not sure. It’s got gags and jokes in there, but at the same time, it’s serious. It has an ending to it, a conclusion that seemed to make sense. And I think that’s probably the best reason. It was the one I was most comfortable with playing solely by myself. It defined me at that moment.

HN: Did you have to think you would forget the lyrics considering the pain from getting a tattoo while playing?

JK: No, I didn’t. By that point, I had played it so much. I was a bit nervous about how that whole video was going to go, so I think I overprepared. Someone said to me that the only reason you didn’t clench or anything is that you were concentrated on the song. I didn’t print the lyrics. That would have given me a backup. But I thought if I was prepared, that would give me something to take away from the physicality of having this pain.

HN: I understand. Now, tell me about the tattoo itself.

JK: When we walked in, it was one of these inexplicable things that just happened. I wasn’t thinking about it a lot. But it came to me that the spur is very symbolic for me. When my band Red Collar, — it’s an electric band, as opposed to being acoustic based — when we were touring Texas for the first time, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be funny to have a pair of spurs to wear on my combat boots?”

So I got a pair and wore them down to Texas. That was our first big road trip. I would just wear them for shows, but then once I decided to quit my 9 to 5, and take on this not-the-norm, then I started wearing them all the time. So I thought, well, maybe there will come a day when I don’t wear the spurs.

Being branded with that idea that this is something different that you do now, having that on my body was important to me. At the time, I don’t know if I thought of all of this. This could be all coming from reflection. At the time, it was like, “I’m going to get a spur” (laughs).

#88 Red Collar: Welcome Home from Love Drunk on Vimeo.

HN: I’m sure that’s how it goes with most tattoos. Now, I don’t know the story behind the video. How did it come together, and how did you trust the Love Drunk crew to get it right?

JK: Yeah, Andrew Norman, I met him. I did one of my first acoustic shows at a hotel room in Gainesville for Fest. Andrew was tour manager for a band from Oklahoma called Red City Radio. After the hotel show, Andrew came up to me and said that was really great.

I think when the show started it was maybe five people, and at the end, my wife counted 70. Andrew said it was really great, and to let him know if we ever come to Nebraska. “If you ever do, get in touch with me. I’d love to set up a show. We have friends out there who do video work. Maybe we can shoot a video of you performing a song.”

Maybe a year later, I called him and said I’m coming out there. He said, “We’ve got this group of people who do videos in sort of odd locations, like a butcher shop or taxidermy studio.” He didn’t say those things (laughs). But he said come on out, and I said that was great. So then I started thinking about it: “Geeze, I wonder what song I would do and where I would do it.”

Andrew called me back and said we’re going to have you do a video in a tattoo parlour. I thought that sounded great. Then I thought it would really be something if I got my first tattoo while I was singing the song. I told this to my wife and friends because sometimes I’m not positive about these ideas. They said that’s a great idea, you have to make that happen.

But then Andrew called me back and said, “I’m sorry we can’t make this tattoo parlour thing work.” He said, “The tattoo person hasn’t gotten ahold of us. So we’re going to have you go to the State Capitol. We have a friend that gives tours there. You’ll play the song as people walk around you." And I said, "All right, that’s fine.” He said, “What’s the matter?” And I said, “I was hung up on this tattoo video. I’d like to play the song and get my first tattoo as I play it.”

He said we have to make this happen. So he started calling around to tattoo parlours and got ahold of Iron Brush and told them about the idea. So we met with (tattoo artist) Kevin (Chasek), and I think Kevin was sussing me out to see if I would be a flake about this whole thing.

He might have been thinking that I was approaching this thing that he takes seriously as a sort of “nyuk, nyuk, nyuk” video. He was suspicious about it up until he heard the song I would play. Then he leaned over and said this was going to be great.

CHORDS

D – Dsus – D

D                                       G
I used to believe in the radio 
D                        G         A
All alone in my bedroom, how I loved it so 
Bm                        A
What happened I can’t guess 
G                               D
But I was listening less and less 
                                          G             A         G     D
Hanging around with a different crowd I suppose 

chord progression repeats throughout
            
Me and my friends we were punks 
Drunk as hell cause that’s punk as fuck 
Got a band to be famous 
And to get laid hey can you blame us? 
But without a record deal we did the punk rock thing 
And broke up 

My Pop don’t believe in the power of song 
Son the only way a song’s gonna right a wrong 
Take the lyrics of Blowin’ In the Wind 
Write them on the bills with Ben Franklin 
Pass them around to the poor across this great country 
And maybe eventually you’re gonna cure poverty 

All I ever needed was rock and roll 
Rock and roll and a turntable 
And me and Lou and Iggy Pop 
And the drugs and Mary and oh I couldn’t stop 
I wonder how my kids are doing these days 

I wrote songs that matter! I had a story to tell! 
I thought that’s what the world wanted as well 
I wrote the greatest songs you never heard 
You assholes asked for Freebird 
Well, damn you and FM Radio straight to hell 

I used to believe that a catchy tune 
Can cause world peace if everyone would sing with you 
But I started watching the evening news 
Now I believe what they want me to 
Read Psalms, drop bombs and god bless America 

I used to believe in a lot of things 
I used to believe in believing 
Man now I don’t know, it’s so hard 
But I still got something to say and a guitar 
Maybe that’s all the reason I need to believe 
La da dum La da dum 
Maybe that’s all the reason I need to believe

Michael Todd is Hear Nebraska's managing editor. He used to believe in Garth Brooks until he became Chris Gaines. Reach Michael at michaeltodd@hearnebraska.org.